9th November 2018
Dear Cooper and Finn,
You're almost ten months old now, and I’ve been back at work for almost six. I'm very lucky that I work from home and I do a lot of work in the evenings, so I get to spend way more time with you than other people who work full time get to spend with their kids. I’ve got a job I love, and I still get to look after you. I‘ve got it all! It’s intense though. To cram it all in I can’t afford to waste a single moment of the day. I flick the kettle on to boil and run upstairs with the clean washing. I cook the next day’s meal while you’re eating your tea. I hoover under the sofas while you’re crawling about on the floor. I write things for work in my head while I’m busy doing other things, and repeat them over and over until I get chance to write them down. It’s exhausting, but it's my choice to do it
like this. For me it’s worth it, and for the most part I enjoy it. It’s not possible to completely understand why someone makes the choices they do, because you can never fully understand what it’s like to be them. You don’t have exactly the same experiences that they do, and even if you did, you wouldn’t experience them in the exact same way. so rather than worrying too much about what other people are doing and why, you have to try and trust that they’re doing the right thing for them in the circumstances. And if they’re not, hopefully they’ll work it out for themselves in the end. XXX