I will not be dictated to! I am in charge!
Me:
I will not be dictated to by two three-year-old boys! I am in charge!
Also me:
- Wears twice the amount of moisturiser I need to so they can both have a turn handing me the pot
- Says ‘“Yeah, a bus!” about 7 times every time we see one (bear in mind we live in London) until I get the volume, intonation, and enthusiasm live just right
- Takes my glasses off because they tell me to
- Sits on one measly cushion, staring longingly at all my other cushions that I am not allowed to have
- Agrees to call peanut butter “jam”, French toast “bread toast”, grey “white”, scarecrows “rare ghosts”, and my beige cardigan “curtains”
- Has to knock on my own door, go inside and shut it and then go back out again every time I come home
- Acknowledges that biscuits are not, in fact, treats,
- Retraces fifteen minutes’ worth of steps around the shopping centre because I went in the wrong door (silly me!)